I'd like to try out my "Secrat Agent in China" monologue... "When the OSS sent me to China, they issued me this special purpose 'secret agent' device... At first I thought it was just an ordinary bottle opener... until I discovered the secret compartment. Inside it had a pack of condoms. Now, THAT's what I call well-equipped for duty in China!" "However, I was NOT very impressed by the vehicle they issued me. Instead of my Aston-Martin, I got a rickshaw pulled by tired old farmer looking for work in the city. Somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to try the 'smoke screen' button for fear of what might come outta that guy's ass while he's running so hard." "On the bright side, the 'oil slick' button yielded a nice patch of oil, but it was hardly efficient in slowing down someone chasing after me, unless you account for the obstruction provided by the mob of old ladies swarming behind me, scooping up the oil to use it for cooking in their woks." "I had an American approach me once while I was on a Top Secret mission in China. For some reason he looked very very concerned over his safety. Seems he'd lost his directions to the nearest McDonald's..." "Met a French guy, too. Told me he had laid a lot of Chinese ladies, but still felt rather disappointed. With a hopeful look in his eye, he said he has decided to open a breast-enhancement service." "I told him that it would never work. If a Chinese girl has nice breasts, she always ends up falling face down drunk on the ground. It has something to do with maintaining 'balance' in their society." “I also mentioned to him the 'One Child Policy' in China. He responded with ‘As a respectable Frenchman, I don't intend to give more than one child to any girl. But with 500 million of them to satisfy, I'll be busy until I'm dead.’" "Saw a Vietnamese guy once. He smelled badly of rotted fish. I asked him what happened. He replied, 'I was trying to swim to Vietnam from my home in the HK slum that the PRC had closed down on me, and... just when I had gotten close to the shores of Vietnam… some stupid PLAN ship came by, arrested me for fishing in their "Exclusive Economic Zone" and hauled me back to HK!'" "Said he had gotten a good job out of the deal, anyway. Something about pretending to be a "Transvestite Mermaid" in a huge HK shopping mall fish tank. He's pretty sure they all think he's from Singapore now." “Chinese are very thin, at least in comparison to Americans. When I went to the USA for a secret conference, I looked around at all those fat people in the airport and all I could think of was, ‘How many Chinese could I fit inside one of those whales?’" “Then I realized that, if we trained the Americans to be cannibals, they probably could eat half the population of China. Nice solution to the overpopulation problem here, don't ya think?” "Heck. The Chinese eat dogs. They eat cats. They even eat rats! Why not have the barbarian Americans start eating people?" “Meat is meat, ya know…” “It’s no wonder… The Chinese can pack 400 people into a subway train car in 20 seconds while the Americans are still trying to get their fat asses through the door... Of course, the Indians are a bit better. They can put the same 400 people onto a bus, and sing as they ride along… falling out the windows into piles of cow sh*t.” “I figure the obesity in America all has something to do with the consumptio “I figure the obesity in America all has something to do with the consumption of cheese. Chinese avoid it, but Americans LOVE cheese! But, you know… it makes people constipated. I swear, it's not the calories they consume that makes them swell up... it’s that they are always so full of shit.” “Thanks everyone. I think I hear a bottle of Mijeu calling me now… Hope you all have a pleasant evening. Oh! I have a CD on sale by the cashier, and if you want it autographed, I’ll be the guy laying in the gutter at dawn with a 4 year-old kid pissing on my head. G’night.”

I'm cosplaying Matryoshka Kagamine Len, and I was wondering where you can buy preferably plain brown work/leather gloves in Singapore. But any kind of gloves would work too. And maybe preferably located near Serangoon Gardens/Ang Mo Kio area? ^^; Thanks so much! <3

I wanted to make one with my own design and in wood but it costs more than 300 and it will two weeks. I need something fast. Please do advise where I can find various type of crosses in Singapore? Please. Thanks.

i have a business idea/invention that i think is very valuable. it has to do with cards, like ccg cards. how do i protect the idea from being stolen? i'm going to set up a company to sell/market the product. i live in singapore.

WWE Championship John Cena (c) vs CM Punk World Heavyweight Championship Randy Orton (c) vs Mark Henry Money in the Bank Ladder Match Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs Jack Swagger vs Cody Rhodes vs Sin Cara vs Wade Barrett vs Daniel Bryan vs R-Truth Christian vs Sheamus Street fight Alberto Del Rio vs Big Show Singapore Cane Match Alex Riley vs The Miz US Championship - Vickie banned Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Kofi Kingston Rate, suggest alternative matches and pick winners :)

Someone told me Singapore is not part of China?

United States? Cutting education spending is his goal, which he has succeeded at very well, but how could he bring USA standards lower too, it is already 26th in the world (behind Singapore)? Ideas?

Is it nice? just one question thats been bugging me for a while, are the clothes nice? :o

I brought my iPhone 4 from Singapore to the United States, and I have not been able to receive service. My friend has the same phone and theirs works perfectly fine..

Today in Yahoo news a 20 year old China man got arrested because he bribed a policeman into disposing of his and his gf's particulars. Their particulars were taken because they were caught to be in a hotel room together on a random spot-check. Is it against the law or is it just a random screening test to fight prostitution?

My country has been infiltrated with the Chinese (China). Every tourist who comes to Singapore will think that we are a disgusting lot. Chinese from other asian countries are different from the chinese from China. Don't mistaken us for them, its such a disgrace. * I'm a Singaporean Chinese myself, but I hate to be mistaken for a China Chinese by tourists!!! We are not the same. Japanese have the best culture so far I think.

i like to know when n who made this country?

Hey I was wondering if the shoe sizes sold in shoe locker are different from those sold in singapore shops. Because the last time I ordered an M sized shirt from there, it came in much bigger, like a XL size shirt.

I wanna do a trade. Things like packet chips lollys and just junk food basicly. He sends me a pack i send him one back of aussie stuff